Death by Java
Date: Tuesday, March 09 @ 02:18:16 CST
Topic: Jaded Persective


How long has it been since your last cup of coffee? Are you drinking one right now? What would your grandma do if you told her she couldn't have her morning cup of coffee anymore? Is getting your java fix the 'best part of waking up', or the only reason to live? I propose that we make caffeine a controlled substance. Why not just for the fun of it, make it totally illegal. Consider the implications. This would make prohibition look like a day at the beach.



My guess would be that the overall economic situation would become erratic, and the crime rate would explode. Sound absurdly extreme? Think about all the people you know, even yourself. Caffeine withdrawl has many of the same symptoms as herione withdrawl. Now, imagine this on a country-wide basis.

Depending upon your source of information, coffee is the best thing to come along in centuries, or it is the root of all evil. Sorry, but from personal experience with caffeine, I happen to lean more toward the latter. In doing research, the facts seem to be nearly equally divided as to whether or not there are ill-effects to caffeine consumption. Coffee is now being given credit for attributing to longevity and fending off skin cancer.

Even if this were true, (which I sincerely doubt) the "benefits"certainly outweigh the side effects. Everyone knows that caffeine is supposed to make you more alert. The majority of adults, and most kids too, could attest to this. In fact, 80% of us experience this on a daily basis. But, what is really happening that causes the illusion of alertness?

Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, and increases stress hormones in the blood stream, making a person feel unnaturally alert. Consequently, this induced alert state tends to subdue your body's natural instincts and prevent it from relaxing. This causes excess, chemically induced stress, which will lead to various kinds of disorders and diseases over time, everything from acne to heart disease.

In massive doses, caffeine is lethal. A fatal dose of caffeine has been calculated to be about 10 grams (or about 80 cups of coffee). It is a poison, just like niccotine is a poison. Many of the side effects could be considered mild enough by themselves to be annoying, but compounded together can be overwhelming to an otherwise healthy person. Rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, fatigue, severe mood swings, headaches, heartburn, ulcers, muscle cramps are only a few of the minor side effects.

Personally, though, I love coffee. So, all hippocrites should band together to pass legislation to make coffee a controlled substance, as it is one of the, if not the most addictive substance consumed by such a majority. Or, try going cold turkey for a week or two. Maybe when the withdwrawl headaches have subsided, they will be replaced by some compassion for all the "sicko-druggies".







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